~It's About the Days in Between~

There is no such thing as a Hallmark Thanksgiving or a Norman Rockwell Thanksgiving.  Or Christmas for that matter. This Thanksgiving like so many others have been is different, no two are the same.  I suppose this is a good thing. Opens us up to a new perspective, to the constant flow of change that cuts the cords of control. To letting go and adapting to circumstances.  I place to high of expectations upon myself, upon things, others, events, and holidays. And yes, even how I will feel emotionally.  A change in plans and I am left flailing about.  As a friend said, it's not about the day but the days in between and time spent with family.

My 87 year old Dad, who has Parkinson's was moved into a Nursing Home last month, the length of his stay is undetermined.  Spending Thanksgiving and possibly Christmas in a Nursing Home. This year Thanksgiving has been a roller coaster. My sister trip was cancelled due to the California fires.  The week had been planned out and it did not pan out.

Last Saturday, husband and I went to see my Dad in the nursing home. The nursing home is 15 minutes from where his house is located and 1 hour south of Paradise, Ca. (the town lost in the recent horrible fire). We brought donuts and coffee. I decorated the dining room table with paper holiday plates, napkins and real mugs.  We visited, as much as Daddy can visit. With only one hearing aid in, because his ears need cleaning and when the aids are in, he hears a buzzing sound.  After adjusting his one hearing aid, we could stop yelling.  Probably to the relief of the bingo crowd, although my guess is a a few of them are hard of hearing too.  He was having a hard time with verbal cues.  But he enjoyed the donuts but when asked "how is the coffee?" His reply, "okay, too weak."  He also complained of the rules, "they are strict. After dinner we have to watch T.V, or go to bed, no wandering the halls. "We watched T.V., where they were playing Southern Gospel Music. And that was Thanksgiving number one.

On Thanksgiving Day I spent the morning prepping for the day after Thanksgiving. For our dinner we had Chicken Alfredo and apple pie. Played a couple rounds of Yahtzee and listened to music.

That brings me to today, the day after Thanksgiving. My brother is coming down and staying the night. Today we will have our Turkey dinner.  It has been over 7 years since my brother has visited us without my Dad. He has been his caregiver for all this time and will continue to be when our Dad goes back home (even with Medi-Cal, Daddy cannot afford the nursing home).  It feels weird, knowing Daddy will not join us this year or for that matter any holidays in our home.  Mixed emotions I am having and will probably cry in the shower and at other moments.  Let them come, let the go. Whether they be tears or laughter or grumpiness or anxiousness. Whatever will be will be. 

LynetteJoy

********

Friday's Thanksgiving Meal

Turkey Breast

Turkey Thigh

Mashed Potatoes and Gravy

Creamed Corn with bacon

Yams baked in butter and honey,

Topped with Marshmallows

Saute'd Brussels Sprouts, onions, garlic and mushrooms

Cranberry Sauce 

Pumpkin Pie

Wine

Soda

Tea

Coffee

*********